Law Firm & Life
October 22, 2024
First, a disclaimer: bear with me on this one. Even though I start off with descriptions of the various offices I’ve inhabited since 2021 and my struggles furnishing them, the tale does lead to some lessons that are worth thinking about as we prepare for the inevitable onslaught of articles and emails about how to plan for 2025.
Like many people with desk jobs, I worked from home during the pandemic. It wasn’t a big deal, as I was used to meetings on Zoom and my bookkeeper, assistant, and paralegal had always been remote.
In the fall of 2021, as COVID was starting to ease, New York City decided to install a new water main outside my bedroom/office. This ensuing construction cacophony was the end of my working from home.
I moved into a private office within a small shared space that was pretty great in many ways. It had a big window, a lovely view of the Manhattan skyline and one of my neighbors was a floral designer, which meant I frequently had fresh flowers in my office. However, there were rarely any other people around, so it still felt like I was stuck in my bedroom. After that, I moved to another space with the hopes that I would have a regular officemate. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out as planned and I found myself still mostly alone every day.
About a year ago, I moved once again to my current office, which is in downtown Brooklyn. Third time is indeed the charm. There’s a nice mix of having other people around, but a door I can close when I’m on the phone or need to concentrate.
Even with this upgrade though, my actual office was pretty bleak. My furniture amounted to a junky old filing cabinet, a hand-me-down bookshelf, and a depressingly blank Zoom background. Mostly, this was because I just haven’t had time to find furniture that I like.
Recently this changed. I finally had some time to buy a new bookcase and filing cabinet. They’re quite nice and certainly a big improvement over my prior decor.
Of course, these purchases meant I had to transfer everything from the old furniture to the new. That archaeological dig unearthed a bunch of articles I had printed out and hand-scrawled notes I’d thrown in a folder to come back to later. As I read through this collection, I quickly realized almost all this material had to do, in some way, with growing a business. I soon became thoroughly engrossed in reading, stopped checking my email, let my computer go to sleep, and left my phone on the other side of the room.
It was an interesting journey through the past few years of my practice. Some of these articles and ideas were no longer relevant, as they contained ideas or advice I’d tried that didn’t work for me, or experiences I’ve subsequently written about here. But a lot of it still resonated and, as I worked my way through this stuff, it became pretty clear that there were some recurring themes. Nothing particularly earthshaking or radical, but ideas that are definitely worth revisiting. More importantly, the process — particularly being separated from my phone and other distractions — allowed me to step back and see connections that I had forgotten about or previously missed.
So what are the lessons here? First, creating a strategy for growing a business isn’t a one-and-done deal. What worked a few months ago might not work now, or could be ripe for further improvement. Through my review of this collection of material, I could see the evolution in my thinking and approach, and sort out what didn’t work, examine whether improvements were possible, and chuck the stuff that didn’t work or was no longer relevant.
In the next two-and-a-half months we’re all going to be bombarded with articles, commercials, and general blather advising us to plan for 2025, and my experience reading my articles and notes reinforced how you can’t plan for the future without assessing where you’ve been. Looking back on decisions and moves I’ve made is essential for taking stock of what works (and what doesn’t) and how to deploy resources in the future. Simply having an idea once, implementing it and never reexamining it can too easily lead to stagnation.
And what’s the best way to do this? By freeing ourselves from distraction! Stepping back from our phones and computers (and even some of the idle office chitchat I now enjoy that I missed so much during the pandemic) allows you to get new perspectives and see the connections between what you’ve done before and the results they’ve led to. Because the past is the strongest foundation we can build upon for the future.
August 26, 2024
I spend a lot of time here nerding out about interesting cases and the many provocative types of legal conflict that continually arise. Keeping up with trending issues is an important part of what I do, and the latest disputes are more fascinating than ever.
But there’s another big part of my job that I talk about less that is just as captivating: Working with clients.
Why do I generally keep mum about this? Obviously, I can’t reveal any privileged client information. Also, litigation can be stressful, clients can sometimes have meltdowns and throw tantrums, and I’m not going to write about people’s bad moments even if they might be instructive for others. Finally, unlike reading and interpreting statutes and cases, working with clients isn’t something I learned in law school. It is a skill gradually acquired over years of practice and continual improvement. As a result, I (and most other lawyers I know) don’t really have an academic framework to organize and disseminate my expertise about working with clients.
But fear not: I’ve got a few things to share. Specifically, emotions, beliefs and behaviors I’ve seen that cause clients (and attorneys) needless stress and can make it harder to produce good results. Recognizing and anticipating these problem areas can help clients and attorneys have much better experiences as they navigate difficult litigation. (Also, it never hurts for me to put my thoughts down so that I can come back to them. Everybody wins!)
- The “It’s not fair!” syndrome. I think that a lot of people come to me feeling they’ve been treated in a way that is unfair and they expect “the law” to be on their side, and for lawyers and courts to make things right. In an ideal world that is exactly what would happen but, alas, as should be obvious to anyone over the age of 4, we don’t live in an ideal world. “The law” is made up of people. People with wildly differing beliefs and agendas. People who sometimes just plain get things wrong (that’s why we have appellate courts). Moreover, what’s fair to one person might not be fair to someone else. It’s important people put aside that powerful “it’s not fair!” feeling and focus instead on getting attainable, satisfactory results.
- “And another thing!” A lot of times people are determined to tell the opposite side in a dispute everything they’ve done wrong. But, in my experience, not every little thing matters. It is better to have one or two really good examples of why you’re right and/or the other side is wrong rather than throw everything but the kitchen sink at them. Doing so cuts down on needless back and forth and keeps the focus on those points that have power to change the situation. Plus, keeping some weapons in your arsenal in case you need them later is always a good idea.
- “Same thing, same result.” Often, when people come to me, they’ve already spent a lot of time going back and forth with their adversary and discussions have fallen into a predictable pattern. For example, your side keeps asking for information and the other side keeps ignoring these requests. And on and on. If you keep doing the same thing, you’ll probably keep getting the same result. That’s frustrating. If you want something different to happen, clients and attorneys need to be willing to try something different.
- “I’m not going to tell you.” If you’re a client, err on the side of telling your attorney too much, not too little. I cannot stress this enough. It’s much harder for me to help you solve a problem if I don’t have all the relevant information about the dispute, the opponent, and yourself. Anything can come up in a case, and the more unexpected it is, the more detrimental it can be — and the more stressful for my clients and myself. If I know about it, I can anticipate and plan for it.
- Finally, it’s important to draw lines (I’m not going to say, “in the sand!”). When you’re making demands of your adversary or laying out expected results, set boundaries and stick with them (of course, always be willing to adjust if you receive new information). If you don’t enforce a boundary, it can be a lot harder to get the other side to believe that this time you really mean it. When a client panics and suddenly wants to cave in on something their attorney doesn’t want to budge on, it causes tension between the two of you and jeopardizes your negotiating power going forward.
In all this, there’s a difference between understanding potential behaviors and eliminating them. But recognizing these patterns is definitely a productive first step toward ensuring a smoother, less stressful process for everyone involved in a litigation.
July 10, 2024
I’m a litigator (you probably know that). I’m also a mom to a tween (that might be new information!). Both are generally very rewarding, but can also sometimes be a huge PITA.
They go together much better than you might expect because, oddly enough, I’ve found that some of the things I’ve learned as a parent make me a better lawyer and vice versa.
Because I had a few days off for Independence Day last week, I was able to spend some much-needed time with my family, along with some friends and their two-year-old. And during those languid summer days of leisure I was able to reflect on the overlap between practicing law and raising a kid.
A few highlights:
- Sometimes you just have to wait it out. Toddlers and tweens have their angry, stubborn and argumentative moods, and often nothing you say or do is going to get them out of one. Trying can even make it worse. This is also true for adversaries, clients, and judges. Sometimes people just need a beat or two to come around on their thinking, and your actions aren’t going to get a child, an adversary, a client or a judge to where you want them to be any faster. Sometimes the best approach is to simply say your piece briefly and then be quiet.
- Just because someone is loud, it doesn’t mean you have to give in to their demands or be loud back. As in point number one above, sometimes the child’s moods come with a lot of screaming or yelling. Same with clients and adversaries. It doesn’t help to respond in kind. More often than not, at least for me, the best approach is to keep on doing what I’m doing and not let all the noise change my path toward the end goal.
- However, listening is important. While #1 and #2 can be crucial, never completely tune out what’s being said. Sometimes in the midst of a person’s screaming fit, they’ll say some little pearl that highlights what’s really motivating the outburst (in the case of a tween) or a sticking point (in the case of an adversary). It’s important to be present, listen for those moments and store them away in case they prove useful down the line.
Of course, when it comes to a child, you know that someday, somehow, EVENTUALLY they’ll grow up and act like adults. I’m not going to comment on some adversaries.
May 14, 2024
I’ve posted a few times this year thoughts (here and here) on some of the lessons I’ve learned since starting my law practice, hoping they may be helpful to others in their own business or career.
Now, I’m back with more although this lesson is less about growing and running a business and more about how to deal with (really) unpleasant people, which is something they don’t teach in law school but definitely should.
More specifically, recently I found myself negotiating with a lawyer who easily ranks as one of the three most unpleasant adversaries I’ve ever met. We’d be on the phone and he’d constantly interrupt me with rude lectures on how, in his view, things should be done; he’d follow these verbal assaults with condescending emails purporting to explain basic points of law with which I am quite familiar, thank you very much. (Amusingly, these emails contained glaring errors which I, being generous of spirit, refrained from pointing out.)
While all this was painfully unfolding, my new assistant (hallelujah!) was indexing the topics I’ve covered in my past posts and the monthly email newsletters I send out (the emails are concise and fun; if you’re interested in subscribing, sign up here). While reviewing the results, I came upon a pre-pandemic newsletter where I discussed the Netflix documentary Knock Down the House, which follows Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and three other women who ran for Congress in 2018. In the documentary, AOC gives herself a pep talk before facing then-incumbent Joseph Crowley in a debate. She repeats the mantra, “I need to take up space. I need to take up space. I am here!” This had immediately resonated with me, a female commercial litigator who was constantly having to contend with dismissive male attorneys.
AOC’s message was in my mind during my recent back-and-forth with the aforementioned adversary, Mr. Condescension, Esq. Earlier in my career I would have soldiered through this kind of interaction by putting on a brave face, trying to outsmart my opponent while letting him set the rules of engagement, and tossing at night running through all the things I should have said or done. In those wee hours, I would even start to think that maybe I wasn’t that good at my job (imposter syndrome, anyone?). However, keeping AOC’s “I need to take up space. I am here!” in my head has helped me change this internal dialog and my interactions with opposing counsel.
I’ve also altered my approach to confrontational or potentially confrontational calls. Rather than let an adversary set the agenda for a call, I write down my goals, which can be as simple as being able to truthfully tell a court that I got on the phone with an adversary (many courts require this before submitting a dispute for resolution).
I also write down the tone I plan to maintain on the call: conciliatory, simply, aggressively, etc. I keep this in front of me during the call or any other related interaction. For me, it’s a visible indicator of how I want the dispute to progress toward my end goal and a reminder to stay focused rather than let anyone cause me to veer off the path I’ve set.
Obviously, this isn’t to say that I never deviate from my intentions or outlines. I’m no robot, after all. But by working this way, I am able to make sure I — and, more importantly, my client’s objectives — take up space.
It’s also not to say that I’m 100 percent successful at following my own advice and everything is rainbows and unicorns forevermore. It takes focus and practice. That’s why I make time each week to reflect on where things have gone well and where they have not, reviewing how I’ve stuck to the plan or veered from my approach. Doing this helps me figure out new ways to improve, and keeps those sleepless nights at bay.
March 5, 2024
Continuing from a previous post reflecting on the seven years since starting my law practice, here are a few more things I’ve learned along the way about business development, entrepreneurship, and growing a law firm. Hopefully, some (or all) resonate with anyone working to grow their career or business.
When I first started my firm, and for several years after, I spent a lot of time thinking there had to be a clear and logical blueprint for business development. If I could just find the right program, join the ideal networking group, or read the best book on the subject, surely I’d be able to grow my business to where I felt it should be. It was particularly easy to succumb to this kind of thinking when I was feeling unsure about what I was doing, if I hadn’t hit a milestone I wanted to reach, or if I saw someone else posting how their firm was killing it. Obviously, my not measuring up was because I hadn’t yet found the right program, group, or book.
I now know that’s not how it works. Having tried a lot of programs, joined (and left) many networking groups, and read a slew of books, I’ve come to the most definite conclusion that, at least for me, there is no one perfect formula to grow a law firm (or any business). I’m sure the various programs, groups, and books work for some people. I, however, am not one of them. And I’m quite certain I’m not alone in that. So, with that in mind, what has worked for me?
First, starting and growing a business takes confidence and the ability to put yourself out there, in emotional and financial harm’s way. It’s a big risk. Some people have no problem here; but again, I am not one of them and the prescriptions of a given program, group, or book weren’t going to change this for me. The solution could only come from within. And that meant spending time thinking about what made it so hard for me to have the confidence that comes so easily to others. Ultimately, I understood it was a fear of criticism. I’ve talked about this a bit before in that previous post, but the tl;dr is I was always terrified that if I wrote something on LinkedIn, on my blog, or in an email, someone somewhere was going to say it was stupid. I suspect some of this fear has to do with gender, but that’s an issue for another day.
What helped me get over this? It began by simply recognizing and acknowledging the issue. Therapy (duh!!) was big. Meditation helped as well. I also work with a fabulous business coach who often gives me new ways of thinking about things. I have a bunch of different pieces of advice she’s given me over the years written down where I can refer to them when needed (frequently!). One of my favorites is a reminder that we all tell ourselves stories and hold certain beliefs, but we need to look at data to see if the stories have any truth to them. I also work with a wonderful writer and editor on a lot of my posts and articles. This allows me to get my ideas down quickly without constantly judging or second-guessing myself, knowing someone else will make sure there are no incomplete thoughts or missing punctuation.
Secondly, I’ve learned that sometimes doing something is better than doing something perfectly — and way better than doing nothing. I, like many others who have gone to fancy schools, worked for BigLaw, and grabbed at every gold ring along the way, tend to think that everything I do has to be perfect. Obviously, with legal work, exactitude is crucial. However, when it comes to business development, I realized that by getting bogged down in the search for the perfect way to do something, I often didn’t get anything done. Again, outside help has been really important for me in putting aside my urge toward perfection and focusing on just getting things done even if they’re not 100% perfect. Over time, paying attention to what works and what doesn’t has helped me refine my approach so that even when I know I’m not perfect, I keep moving in the right direction.
Which brings me to a third thing that’s helped me: consistency. In other words, practice. For me, the act of doing something over and over again has been hugely helpful in becoming more comfortable with it. Truthfully, I’m not sure how exactly I stumbled on this, but it works for me. What you’re reading right now is a perfect example: when I started writing these posts, each and every one was a torturous struggle through hours of pain. Now several years and countless posts later, simply through repetition, the process has become much easier. And that, I assure you, feels great.
